Do your own homework

It always seemed there were two kinds of kids in school:  the kids who did their own homework and the kids who came to school every morning saying, "hey, let me copy your homework." 

All right, I admit it.  I'm a dweeb.  I pretty much always did my homework, leaving those all-important book reports and research term papers until the very last minute, of course.  I never let anyone have my homework to copy, but their eyes wandered over to my test papers a lot and I found myself curling my arm to hide my answers.   The gut reaction is, "I'm a responsible person who studied for the test, but why should I give you all the answers so you can get the same grade?"

You'd like to think that when people grow up they stop doing that.  Several times in the last few years I've been pumped for information, marketing strategy,  details about my business and anything else that would enable someone to take a shortcut and not do their own work.  When the conversation starts, I want to be friendly and helpful, but it's not long before the questions get more detailed and maybe the person even starts taking notes.   I get that feeling of being back in grade school and start being a little resentful about the amount of time and effort it took me gathering and learning all of that information, and that this person would now just walk away and have their homework done--by me.  My answers get more vague and maybe I even change the subject.  The good news is that unless the person is a complete idiot, they realize they've discovered the boundary of my willingness to share my hard work. 

They want to "copy your homework" without giving you anything first.  And if they're in the same business as you are, even if you're friends, they're your competition and it's unlikely they'll give you anything later.  The truth is that if someone is coming to you to "pick your brain," that makes you a consultant.

This is not to say that you can't mentor someone and help them succeed, but that you should recognize when you've crossed the line between providing assistance and giving away your homework.  A good teacher does not give the student the answers but rather directs him to the resources to find the answers.   

"Your mother taught you everything you need to know about connecting before you were 10 years old:  Make friends, play nice, tell the truth, take a bath, and do your homework."  --Jeffrey Gitomer, from his international bestseller The Little Black Book of Connections

Amendment:  Do your own homework.