Pondering the world

What are the pigeons in your life?

A lot of our windows don't have screens, whether over the years they've been removed or broken and simply not replaced, for whatever reason. Since we don't have annoying insects here, like mosquitoes, it hasn't really been a problem. Recently, however, two pigeons have learned that if the curtain or blind has been left open and there's no screen, they can get in the house--hurray! They make themselves very comfortable. I'm less than thrilled, so I'm now in the process of building new screens for all those windows that don't have them.

While talking to someone in another profession, I realized that everyone has "pigeons" in their lives. For example, if you're a curator or archivist and you discover that mice have gotten into your storage area and chewed holes in the cardboard boxes so they can nest in your now-shredded documents, those would be your "pigeons."

What are the pigeons in your life?

the more I know politicians...

... the more I realize I don't really know them at all. That's becoming apparent in this presidential election. It reminded me of some old adages that have been around for a while:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The longer you're away from someone, the more you forget the things about them that you didn't like. Therefore, the longer you're apart, the more you think you like them.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Most of us are on neutral ground when we meet each other. Then we may start to like each other. However, when we start to become closer, we may learn things that we don't like very much. And with some people, the more you learn, the less you like them.

The more I know about people, the more I like my dog.

Striving for perfection? Not me.

I met someone who kept using the word "perfect." Our house is perfect, breakfast is perfect, we do everything perfectly... She probably uses that word a lot. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but it makes me uneasy.

She finally commented that she would bet I'm a perfectionist. "Not me," I replied. "Trying to achieve perfection is a frustrating and dangerous path."

There is merit, of course, in trying to do the very best you can, and it certainly makes a huge difference when something is clean and tidy instead of neglected, sloppy or dirty. But I refuse to obsess when everything isn't absolutely spotless and I don't look like June Cleaver in the kitchen in a dress, high heels and pearls. Trying to cram 30 hours of activities into each 24-hour day in order to "get everything done" inevitably results in crashing in flames and remaining inert in the wreckage for a while, negating any progress achieved by manic energy.

What did I learn during my own personal flame-out over a decade ago in an attempt to be Super Woman? With no exceptions, no one will die if I don't do something on my to-do list. The dishes will still be there tomorrow. Take-out will keep us alive until I can get the grocery shopping done. An un-ironed shirt buttons just the same.

Step back, take a look at reality, and let go of perfection.

sorry--today is not your day.

I've seen this sign before. I had a slightly different version of it on my desk for a while when I was an administrative assistant.

For me, it was a statement about how many tasks I was expected to perform for a great number of people. At one time, I ordered all of the equipment, software, computer parts and office supplies for a group of 150 people. 

a short tutorial on communications for politicians... and others

Recent events have made it apparent that politicians, among others, don't remember how communications work and how a mistake can kill a career, so I've written a brief refresher tutorial.

verbal communication one-to-one: A slip of the tongue, indiscretion or misinformation can always be denied or attributed to misunderstanding by the person to whom you were speaking. It becomes a case of "I said, he heard."

verbal communication to a group: It's a little harder to deny you said something you shouldn't have when speaking to a group, although sometimes a group will never agree on what you said. Think of the game "telephone" where a statement is passed from one person to another, and by the sixth or seventh person the message is unrecognizable. Multiply that by anywhere from ten to a hundred, and you can deny you said anything of the sort.

video or audio recording: Uh-oh. Here's where it starts to get dicey. Once something you said gets recorded, it's out there and can be played over and over. Your best hopes are that 1) a significant number of people didn't happen to be watching or listening when it was being played and 2) your little faux pas becomes yesterday's news and gets bumped for something more recent and titillating. You can also claim that you were speaking off the cuff and actually meant to say something else or that it was a response to a "gotcha" question unfairly asked by the media. Sarah Palin does this on a regular basis.

written communications--letters and notes: You have the opportunity to write, edit and re-write--use it wisely. Remember the old adage: "never write something about someone that you wouldn't want them to read--because inevitably they will."

written communications--email: While you can send an important message to many people at the same time, you can also send something stupid to many people at the same time. Remember who's on the distribution list and watch that "reply all" button. Oops.

written communications--websites: A great website is one way to appear earnest and professional. Just remember that anyone can read it and that old stuff gets cached.

written communications--blogs: Blogs are a little more casual than websites, can be edited or added to very quickly, and blog posts can be deleted if desired. However, again, everyone can read them and posts get cached.

social networking--Facebook: Just because you didn't "friend" someone doesn't mean what you post won't get around. You can delete posts from Facebook, but how many people will have seen them between the time you posted and the time you deleted? Facebook has many facets, and one of those is the ability of complete strangers to gossip about you.

social networking--Twitter: Can you send a message or photo to lots of people at the same time? Yes, you can. Can you take it back? No, you can't.

If you never say anything you wouldn't want your mother to hear or write anything you wouldn't want her to read, you're probably pretty safe. However, if you're playing it safe, you're probably not a politician.

 

Is the world ending on Saturday? It didn't in 1962.

What's in the news today? Newt Gingrich, Arnold, and, oh, yeah, the world is ending on Saturday.

For those of us who were children in the early 60's, it's a miracle we ended up fairly normal people. Well, most of us, anyway. It seemed like every time I turned around, some "prophet" or nut case who, for some unknown reason, the media listened to, predicted that the world was coming to an end. I remember one in particular in about 1962 that had me terrified all day at school. I felt like I needed to hide under my desk. That's what they told us to do in the event of a nuclear blast. It would probably be something like that, right? Although, come to think of it, a wood and metal school desk would be of very little help in either event.

Is there an estimated time that the world is going to end on Saturday? Should I hurry up to make sure I get all my work done before it happens? Or should I just blow everything off because it wouldn't matter anyway? But if I do that and the world doesn't end on Saturday, I would be in a lot of trouble. No clean rooms, piles of laundry, nothing to eat... It's hard to catch up on all of that.

If the world ends on Saturday, it can't until sometime shortly after 8:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time because, of course, that's the day I will win the lottery. I would at least like to have 10-15 minutes of celebration that I won $120 million.

So, will I win Powerball on Saturday? Of course. Will the world end on Saturday? Of course.

Figures. 

"true love"--human or canine?

"True love is a matter of understanding and acceptance, after all--not of trying to remake reality in conformity to a preconceived romantic ideal."

This quote was in the final chapter of The Truth about Dogs by Stephen Budiansky. It was intended to be a summary of why man's special relationship with dogs exists after thousands of years of coexistence, cooperation and cohabitation. In spite of all the grievances and frustration we have with dogs, problems mostly of our own making, we still love them and they still love us. As long as we don't try to make them into "little people"--because they're not--we'll all get along fine.

Isn't that what we love about dogs, anyway? They love us no matter what. The dog doesn't care if you had a bad day at work, you lost your job, or your boyfriend left you. When you arrive home, the dog is there to greet you with some expectations:  "Pet me. Let me lean on you. Can I sit on your feet?" Dogs are by nature pack animals, and you're the leader of the pack. He is content just to be with you.

But wait. Read that quote again. "True love is a matter of understanding and acceptance, after all--not of trying to remake reality in conformity to a preconceived romantic ideal." Doesn't that apply to love between humans as well? Maybe more so.

Not long after I married, I heard one woman give a piece of advice to another: "Never marry a man to reform him." Doesn't that say pretty much the same thing? Don't try to make someone into something they're not. If you let me be who I am, and I let you be who you are, we will both be happy. 

It's not a "hair-view" mirror.

It's amazing--and scary--to see what people are doing while they drive. I've seen cell phone use (illegal), texting (both illegal and terribly scary), makeup application, map reading, newspaper reading (get away from him as soon as possible), taking notes, and eating.

Today I was driving downtown and stopped behind a car at a light. The light turned green and they didn't go. Both young men in that car were looking over at the guy in the car in the next lane who was texting. Can you read text on someone else's phone from the next car over?

While stopped at the next light, the young woman in the car ahead of me decided to freshen her hairdo. Running a comb through it wasn't enough. She reached over and yanked the rearview mirror so could see herself in it, primping and combing. As she drove away, the mirror was still trained on her so she could check her hair and lipstick.

The last I knew, that was called a "rear-view" mirror.

making expectations clear

The other day we were walking around downtown doing a tour of mural art in Albuquerque.  We came upon this sign in a little pocket park in front of a building near the nightclub district.  I suspect they have some issues when patrons leave the bars, having consumed more than they should and therefore have some impaired judgment.

Whoever put up this sign is making their expectations very clear.

the devil is in the details--and keeping track of them

After seven years, I've come to realize that running a bed & breakfast isn't one big job--it's 10,000 details. And details matter.

Way back when, I worked for Digital Equipment Corporation in its heyday. They sent me to a two-day seminar on Franklin time management. It was a great seminar--inspiring, challenging and complete--but the best thing I got out of it and held onto was this leather binder. Forget the life mission statement, goal-setting and all that. I use a calendar to keep track of appointments, deadlines and important stuff. But the first thing I learned as an innkeeper was to be very flexible--my day can change in a heartbeat and blow the entire day's schedule on a moment's notice.

For years my leather binder sat quietly on the shelf, waiting for the day when I would need it. As a legal assistant, I had little need for time management strategies, other than determining which file in the stack of work was the most critical. Some simple work request forms and a little training of the two attorneys I worked for smoothed that out.

When I became an innkeeper, I found it easy to lose track of all the details. Working in a room, I would notice something that needed to be repaired or replaced. New window treatment? What are the measurements? If I wrote myself a note on a little piece of paper, invariably the paper would get buried or the to-do list would be mislaid. My life became piles of paper and notes, measurements taken and re-taken, reminders written and lost and written again. 

This is now my project notebook.  It's where I keep track of all the things I need to do, rooms I'm working on, and everything else.  So far, it's the only system that works for me. The basis of it is this Franklin planner that holds half-size paper. When I looked at the major categories in my business, I realized that tasks and ideas fell into some fairly large categories:  to-do (although my daily to-do list resides in the kitchen); shopping (with a page for each major store I visit--Home Depot, Target, JoAnn's); projects (where I can keep a page or two for each room, including those pesky window measurements); and notes (from meetings or phone calls). I also kept a section at the back from original planner for "address book," to have all those phone numbers and addresses when I need them, especially if I'm away from my laptop or email.

Once I started using it again, I felt like my life was more in control. The little pieces of paper have mostly disappeared. Every time I begin to write a note on a little piece of paper, I remind myself to put the information in the notebook where I'll be able to find it again.

The most important detail of all is keeping track of where I put my notebook.